


choice: trust

by snowdrops



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Interlude, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:56:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7090510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowdrops/pseuds/snowdrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavi doesn’t believe in fate. Life is about choices and consequences, and everyone has a say in how their life unfolds. Some choices are harder than others to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	choice: trust

**Author's Note:**

> Originally inspired by Ed Sheeran's All Of The Stars, in particular this lyric:
>
>> Everything led back to you.
> 
> I sort of lost control of the story though, so the inspiration has very little to do with the actual story.

Lavi doesn’t believe in fate. The very notion that an individual’s life should be predestined from the moment they are born is ludicrous. Life is made up of choices and consequences, and everyone has a say in how their life unfolds. 

Lavi chooses to become a Bookman when he is 6, chooses to apprentice under the wizened Bookman whose single curly strand of hair sets him apart from the other senior Bookmen. He doesn’t get to choose where he’s assigned for the records, because that’s part of the job as Bookman. He does get to choose who to acquaint himself with, every time he takes on a new identity (most of the time, Bookman lets him choose his name too).

Assignments aside, only twice in his life has he not had control over his choices. The first is finding himself in the Noah stronghold, because even the panda hadn’t planned for that. The second, Lavi decides, is feeling. Feeling affects everything, from the way he sees the world, to the way he chooses to reacts to things. It is the one thing he cannot choose to ignore, even though as best as he can, he chooses to squash it, tuck it away into a tiny corner of his mind and forget about it.

Feeling, he realises soon enough, is a scary thing. He knows of world history and far-off lands, but doesn’t know the name of what he feels. The one that scares him the most is the feeling that tells him that if he falls there will be someone to call his chosen alias, someone to catch his body. It tells him that he can fight without turning around, because there is someone covering his blind spot and his back. He chooses to ignore it at first, for the first sixteen years of his life. It’s only when Kanda Yuu takes a blade meant for his back in his stead, that he knows what to name it.

Trust.

He makes up his mind when he’s in the seat by Kanda’s hospital bed, and chooses to believe in trust.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this story! It was an interesting write for me and I struggled a lot keeping the story in check. I hope it flowed and didn't seem forced.
> 
> Please leave a kudos or a comment, I'd appreciate it a lot!


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